


Happy 400 Something!

by khaleesiofalicante



Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M, Never change, This is a birthday fic for the most fabulous warlock in all of history
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:34:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21724582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khaleesiofalicante/pseuds/khaleesiofalicante
Summary: "I always thought that even if i didn't age physically, I would notice some sort of change in myself. I thought that I would never be the same person I was a century or decade ago. But I don't think I have changed at all."Birthday parties, Exhausting changes, Midlife concerns and Other things.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 6
Kudos: 90





	Happy 400 Something!

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday, Magnus!
> 
> And happy reading, penguins!

There was a gentle knock on the wooden door.

“Come in,” Magnus said quietly, hoping that whoever was on the other side would not hear him and go away.

But there was only one person who would have come after him and Magnus knew he didn’t want him to go away – not for a very long time.

The door opened and a familiar pair of blue eyes looked at him in concern.

“Are you okay?” the Shadowhunter asked, moving closer to the floor, where Magnus was sitting with his hands on his lap, covered by layers of clothing scattered across the floor.

The nod he had given in response to the question was apparently not satisfactory as Alec raised a brow in suspicion.

“Then why are you sitting all by yourself in our closet?” Alec inquired, not unkindly. “Your guests are waiting for you.”

Magnus’ heart sped up when Alec said _'our_ ’. It was not the first time the he had laid claim to the apartment or Magnus himself, but it brought Magnus inexplicable joy every time he did it.

“I think….”Magnus started, not know how to finish. “I think I am having a midlife crisis.”

Alec cocked his head to one side and regarded him with confusion. “Aren’t you 400 something years old?”

Numbers didn’t matter to those who are immortal – it was just another social construct which they chose to ignore as the years rolled by.

“400 something?” Magnus gasped in mock offense at his boyfriend. “Alexander, do you not know how old your boyfriend is?”

Alec arched an eyebrow. “Do _you_ know how old my boyfriend is?”

Magnus chuckled and put up his hands in defeat. It was true that he didn’t know exactly how old he was – there were no calendars where he grew up and nor was he old enough to understand the concept of time and age at the time.

Of course, he could have figured it out if he wanted to. But it didn’t matter to Magnus, not really. Alec must have noticed the shift in his expression since he gently knelt down in front of Magnus and looked at him worriedly.

“What’s wrong, baby?” his boyfriend asked, his voice stressing that he genuinely cared about whatever Magnus was going to say next.

“I am just wondering about how much the world has changed in the last four centuries,” Magnus confessed.

“That’s a lot to wonder about,” Alec pointed out.

“It is. But…I just…”

“Magnus, what is it?”

“I feel like I haven't changed at all.”

And there it was – a true confession and a persistent fear.

“I love being a warlock,” Magnus clarified. “I really do. It’s who I am and I accept that. But sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I could change. I mean, I am not just talking about getting old. Of course, I wish I could get gray hair and I wish I could stress about retirement plans. But I...I always thought that even if i didn't age physically, I would notice some sort of change in myself. I thought that I would never be the same person I was a century or decade ago. But I don't think I have changed at all. Not even a little bit if I am to be honest with myself.”

Alec gave him an endearing look and took hold of his hands.

“Hey, look at me,” he said softly. “What brought his on?”

“All of you,” Magnus replied, his voice slightly quivering. “You are not the same bunch of unruly teenagers I met a few years ago.”

“Hey!” Alec protested softly and the look on Magnus’ face settled him down.

“Clary is two whole inches taller. Jace has a beard! Simon’s band is doing better and Isabelle is a decent cook now? Everyone is changing and I am just me. I am the same High Warlock of Brooklyn. I am just same old me.”

Alec’s have his hand a little squeeze. “First of all, you have been misinformed. Clary is not taller; she is just fooling everyone with those new boots of hers. Simon’s band is still shit, but they have started to play better songs. And Isabelle is not a better cook; we are all just better actors.”

“What about the beard thing?” Magnus asked skeptically.

“I will not be commenting on the beard,” Alec grimaced. “I am still trying to process that monstrosity.”

Magnus giggled softly and then added. “You have changed too.”

“That’s true,” Alec nodded in agreement. “For starters, I am not the one hiding in the closet anymore.”

“Alexander,” Magnus chastised but still couldn’t hide the small ache in his chest. “I just…I can change the way I look. I can dress differently and act differently and all of that. But…I feel like I will always be this person. I am never going really grow up anymore, am I? At first, I used to think that it would just be physical. But I feel like emotionally and mentally, it’s done too. This is who I am and who I will be for the rest of…god knows how long.”

“It must be pretty overwhelming,” Alec said quietly.

“It is,” Magnus replied.

For a minute, the two of them sat quietly on the floor, inside Magnus’ walk-in closet. They could hear their guests – Jace in particular – playing some sort of game. But despite all the noise, it felt like they were the only two people who existed in that moment.

“Well, if it means anything,” Alec shrugged finally. “It doesn’t really matter to me. I don’t care about you not changing or growing up.”

“You don’t?” Magnus asked, not being able to keep the surprise in his tone contained.

Alec had always worried that he won’t be interesting enough for Magnus. He had always been nervous that he would be too boring or ordinary. Magnus could never understand why Alec would assume such a thing considering Alec Lightwood was the most extraordinary thing he had come across in his 400 something years.

But in reality…It was Magnus who had been terrified. It was Magnus who was secretly worried that one day, Alec might be bored with him. While Alec grew and changed and became this whole other person, Magnus was…just Magnus.

He couldn’t stop wondering if Alec would one day realize that he wanted something more…normal.

“You are right,” Alec whispered into the confined space of clothes, glitter, chaos and midlife concerns. “Everyone is changing, I suppose. I know that none of us are who we were. But you are. You are the same person I met in this very apartment at Chairman’s birthday party. You haven’t changed a bit and Magnus that is not a bad thing.”

“It’s not?” Magnus asked again.

Alec let out a shaky laughter. “Sometimes change can be exhausting. I feel like…I feel that too much has changed in the past few years. Whether we are talking personally or politically or just in any aspect… _A lot_ of things have changed. And it’s hard. It’s really hard to keep up with all of it.”

The blue-eyed Shadowhunter gently cupped his face and looked at him so lovingly it made Magnus’ heart ache in a completely different way.

“But amidst of all that change and chaos, you somehow manage to remain the same. If you feel like you are not changing or growing up, that’s not because you are stagnant or lost, it’s because you are perfect. While the rest of us are running around, trying to figure out who we are and our place in the world, you have been the person you were meant to be the whole goddamn time.”

“So, you really don’t care if I don’t change?” Magnus asked, raising his biggest worry. "You don't care if nothing about me changes in the future - no matter how long we stay together?"

Alec smiled at him then and laid a soft, chaste kiss on his lips.

“You are the only constant in my life, Magnus bane. I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”

Magnus pulled him into a tight hug and decided to stay like that for a bit. It was his party after all. If he wanted to hug his boyfriend for six minutes, he should be allowed to do so.

“Now, shall we get back to our guests?” Alec asked when they finally broke the embrace. “We could cut the cake?”

Magnus caressed Alec’s face softly and quickly rushed over to the bathroom. He showed Alec the contents in his hands and opened their bedroom door.

“I have a better idea,” Magnus grinned at his boyfriend.

Alec looked at his parabatai and back at his boyfriend's hands. His eyes gleamed with glee and he gave Magnus a quick peck on the cheek.

“Happy 400 something, baby,” he whispered, taking the razor and shaving cream from him. “Never change.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh, I love this shiny warlock so goddamn much, it is slightly concerning. 
> 
> Come find me on tumblr @khaleesiofalicante.
> 
> Fun fact: One of the most popular figures in world who died on his birthday (April 23rd) was William Shakespeare.


End file.
